Your Turn!
The Generous Wife
One common bit of marriage advice is to work on your communication skills. I would agree and because word pictures are pretty useful, I thought I would share one.
It helps to think of conversation as a non-competitive game of cards. You take turns and build on each other’s play. Someone says something (lays down a card) and then the other person responds (lays down a related card). It’s OK if someone talks a bit more (plays several cards on their turn), you just want to make sure the other person gets a turn too. 🙂 Conversations (and games) where you don’t get to play much aren’t really fun.
When you converse (play) listen well, respond to what they say, or even ask a question (wait for them to take their turn and play an appropriate card in response to their move).
If there’s confusion, pause and try to figure it out. The conversation (game) is not bad, you just ran into an area of lack of understanding. Baby step through what was said and figure out how you could do it better (pull out the rule sheet and sound out what you should do). And, honestly, because our relationships are all a little bit different, I think it’s a great idea to come up with house rules (ways of talking (playing the game) that work well for you and your sweetie).
Conversation (a card game) is an ongoing exchange of bits of information (cards). Have fun. Stay aware and engaged. Set down what you are doing if you need to (maybe even turn off your phones).
Paul and I enjoy playing Splendor. At first, it was a bit of work to learn how to play it, but now it’s something we play well and enjoy often. Once in a blue moon, we have to stop and consider what we’re doing, but the ongoing play works like practice and we can now relax and just enjoy the game.
Conversation is a bit more complex, but it works much the same. Paul and I still have moments of disconnect (after 37 years of marriage), but we can pause, talk it out, and move on. Most of our conversational messes have been about not paying enough attention in conversation and we miss something. All the more reason not to multitask and listen better.
There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.
James Nathan Miller
Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you and your sweetie enjoy your conversations.Couple’s Question: It’s game night. What do you play?
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