Why is God Keeping You Single?

The moment you realize that almost all of your friends have found their other half and started their family, you would ask God again, why He is keeping you still single. You start counting the good works that you have done in serving the local church as if the better works you do, the sooner it is for you to meet your godly spouse. Year by year you keep waiting and the frustrations just pile up with each new year having the same prayer request – a godly husband or a godly wife. Well, I can relate to this kind of difficulty that a single Christian face while waiting for marriage.

Why is God keeping me single? I am as curious as you are to know the possible reasons. Bear with me as I point out conceivable explanations as to our prolonged singleness. 

1) God wants you to be concerned about His affairs and not this world.

Paul in his letter to the Corinthians says that an unmarried man is concerned about the affairs of the Lord; how he can please the Lord. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). There are works that the Lord gives to a single person because of their availability and mobility that a married person may not effectively accomplish.The Apostle Paul is an example of a single person charged by God to spread the gospel to the Gentiles. His works required traveling for and facing dangers against persecutors of the faith for which having a family will not be suitable. Another is Amy Carmichael from England, a woman missionary who served more than 50 years in India. When she faced fear about her future living alone, she withdrew in isolation and conversed with God. The word of assurance that God gave her was that “none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate”.

The calling to work for God in the ministry may require the precious singleness of most of us. It may be a short-term or long-term singleness. But in those days where we brave off doing the Lord’s work as a single, the Lord is always with us and we are never alone.

 2) It’s not God, but it’s you who has another priority aside from marriage.

Now let’s be honest with ourselves. When we were busy with our growing careers, we don’t want marriage to be on the way of our successful promotions, responsibilities and work assignments.  Although there’s a higher possibility for settling with a godly spouse, we did not take it seriously because of other priorities aside from marriage.

3) God wants you to be healed from hurts of past relationship so it’s not time yet for another relationship.

Pains from unsuccessful relationships can be devastating and the hurtful experience can be carried to every future relationship. Once a wounded is not healed completely, they become victims of their past rather than the conquerors that they should be in Christ Jesus.

God our loving Father is concerned of our wholeness and health. In 1 Peter 5:10, God through His grace restores, confirms, strengthens and establishes a believer after undergoing suffering. This is how God cares for His wounded children. This might be your season, a time to heal (Ecclesiastes 3:3). Take advantage of this singleness season to be healed wholly by God to bring a good value to your future relationship.

4) God wants you to learn to love Him first because you can easily be pre-occupied by human relationship rather than with God.

Relationships demands our time in order to please the one we are with. We have the tendency to put our human relationships first than with the Lord. Some of us have experienced bonds with unbelievers or even with someone who has lukewarmness towards God and instead of drawing them close to God, we are the ones who walked farther away from God. We are to put God first even higher than our human relationships, lest we keep them as idols. Learning to love God and putting Him at the right place in your life which is the top priority will also make you love your future spouse better. Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).

5) God wants you to wait because your godly partner is still being prepared by God.

Waiting for the future godly spouse involves lots of prayers and leading from God.

As you pray for your future spouse, you involve yourself in a commitment to plead that their lives be according to the will and plans of God. Growing in faith in God may take some time so be patient because God is not done with him or her yet. The important thing is you have invested your prayers in the life of your future godly spouse and in the future, you will reap the answers to your faithful prayers as Galatians 6:7 mentions the principle of sowing and reaping.

6) God is preparing you while you are still single to a greater and tougher works with your future spouse.

Your life and your future partner’s life have already been written in God’s book before they came to be (Psalm 139:15-16). None of what is happening in your life such as the trials, waiting and learning are for nothing. All of them are part of the preparation for higher levels of faith and works for God’s glory. “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). The partnership with a godly husband or wife is a powerful instrument in the Kingdom of God, but more powerful if it is united with Christ Jesus – symbolized by a threefold cord. Do not neglect the trainings that you have to endure as a single Christian for it will be useful in the works for the Lord.

7) You are gifted with celibacy and spared from the troubles of married life for a purpose of serving the Lord.

Much can be learned from what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7 regarding marriage and staying unmarried for the purpose of serving God in full devotion to the Lord. Yet how do we determine that God is calling us to remain single? We have to ask wisdom from God regarding this matter. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind” (James 1:5-6).

Whether we have to wait some more in singleness before meeting our godly spouse, what’s important is our lives have brought glory to God by living according to His ways. “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).