The Power of Preference
The Generous Husband
We all have preferences. You like chocolate ice cream, she likes vanilla, and I’m all about moose tracks. I like chess, you prefer checkers. She wants to watch a rom-com, you want to watch SciFi. She wants the toilet paper to hang down the front and you just leave it on the back of the toilet. None of these are wrong, but all of them can become a problem if we hold too fast to our preferences.
It gets really ugly when we label our preferences something else. If you declare your preference to be a function of your personality, you feel justified in not bending. If you decide to call your preference a matter of right and wrong, then anyone who questions it is sinning. Unfortunately, our selfish nature urges us to call preferences something else so we can feel okay demanding having things our way.
A related problem is when one spouse has many strong preferences, while the other has few preferences or holds their preferences lightly. I am the former, Lori is the latter. There was a time when we did pretty much everything my way because I had not developed the awareness to see what was happening and why. I didn’t intentionally push her to go my way, I was just being myself. And without meaning to do it or even knowing it had happened, I ran over her preferences left and right.
If you have strong preferences, please pay more attention and work to learn and sometimes go with what your wife prefers. If you have weaker preferences, learn to speak up when your preference really does matter to you.
A post worth reading:
Knowing Her Sexually | Is Your Wife Bored in Bed? ◄ Autopilot may get her off, but is she enjoying it?
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